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Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
What's better than a frontal lobotomy? A bottle in front of me!
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then why "quit while you're ahead?"
VAN GOGH'S MANY RELATIVES:
Verti
Gogh (His dizzy aunt)
Gotta Gogh (The brother who ate prunes)
Stopn Gogh (The brother who worked at a convenience store)
U Gogh (The grandfather from Yugoslavia)
Hue Gogh (The brother who bleached his clothes white)
Chica Gogh (The cousin from Illinois)
Wherediddy Gogh (His magician uncle)
Amee Gogh (His Mexican cousin)
Grin Gogh (The Mexican cousin's American half-brother)
Wellsfar Gogh (The nephew who drove a stage coach)
Cant Gogh (The constipated uncle)
Tan Gogh (The ballroom dancing aunt)
Flamin Gogh (The bird lover uncle)
E Gogh (His nephew psychoanalyst)
Man Gogh (The fruit loving cousin)
Wayto Gogh (An aunt who taught positive thinking)
Poe Gogh (The little bouncy nephew)
Go Gogh (A sister who loved disco)
Day Gogh (His Italian uncle)
Winnie Bay Gogh (A niece who travels the country in a van)
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but, it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
People are like Slinkies, you can't help but smile when you see them tumble down stairs.
